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I suspect, though I might be wrong about this, that it is pretty difficult for a NJ woman to conform to Japanese men’s / Japanese society’s expectations, and it is the rare case that a man will disregard these demands.
The decision to step outside of the expectations of one’s society has ramifications that are far-reaching, and can potentially impact every facet of their lives, be it family, career, even friendships.
I found it hard to make anything more than superficial connections or move past friendship.
I joined in the TV show at the last minute not expecting much.
Typically gaijin bars in areas like Roppongi, Shibuya, Shinjuku, Ebisu, and those sorts of places.
And if you approach them in such an environment, where they’re pretty much expecting it and frankly came there for that purpose, then you’re unlikely to scare or embarrass the hell out of them.
I want to thank all the great people who agreed to collaborate and share their story with all of us! You might already know him as I interviewed Ben a while ago.
The society dictates what is acceptable, tolerable, attractive and even what will bring a man the prestige among his peers he might desire, and in most cases the women they choose either fulfill these needs or are expected to conform to them somehow.
I never found it easy to ‘get’ a Japanese woman, then again, my fiancé and I met on a Japanese TV show for the express purpose of finding someone to marry.
The modern version of the omiai (arranged marriage) seems to be working quite well for us.
Living in different prefectures we never would have met without the show.” “One big difference I’ve found is that there are fewer places here in Japan where it’s seemly to approach women.
Whereas in NY– my former stomping ground — pretty much anywhere, including on the street, was within acceptable parameters as a suitable place to meet girls, here, due to certain customs and/or expectations, the number of places is significantly lower.” “Japanese Girls who are looking to get involved with a Non-Japanese (NJ) man (which is relatively few, but appears very high when applied to the number of NJ men living here) will make themselves available at places where they expect to find foreign men.
In August 2013 Ben participated in the popular Japanese TV show Motemote 99 where he met a wonderful Japanese women. In Japan, women and men tend to socialize separately, so unless you find someone at work (which has its own issues), you’re limited in the ways you might meet a potential date.